Okay, so I'm _not_ dating chick anymore. Which - I really don't care. Things always go weird in my dating relationships, so I'm not surprised. Not like I showered her with attention, affection, anything like that, because I didn't. She even told me about four or five nights ago that she wished I would kiss her more. I don't give up my affections that easily, anymore... not since that breakup I went through, this past summer.
But, that's the way it just goes, in the dating realm... things don't always go super_duper_easy - nope - don't happen like that.
However - I'm cool with it all. It doesn't bother me that much, only because I didn't spend a ton of time with her or anything like that. This situation is nothing like the situation that happened to me, this past summer. I was completely devastated by that particular breakup - this "breakup" (if you can even call it that - lol!!!) really doesn't mean that much to me. I didn't get the chance to fall in love with this chick (which is something I won't allow myself to do - at least, not in the first six or seven months of dating...) - which is GOOD(!!!) - I don't find myself daydreaming of times past with her, like I used to do with my ex.
How would I react if I saw my ex out in public? I've thought a _lot_ about that very thing. I don't think I would completely ignore her, or anything like that; I'd probably make a passing statement like "hey Kathleen - what's up..." and then - walk the hell on like it was nothing. Yeah. That would be better. Would show her that I really didn't give a damn about the breakup anymore, after all.
Which I kinda still _do_ - not my fault. The heart wants what the heart wants. But I do know one thing - the fact that I haven't allowed myself to drive by her house (at anytime of day or night, etc.) - that has soooooo helped me get over things. I mean, I still sometimes drive over in the _direction_ of her place, but only when I'm on my way to see friends of mine that just happen to live close by, to her. But letting myself drive down her street? - HELLLLL_NO!!! - HA!!!
It's nice when you can finally be over someone. I was talking to my Mama a little bit earlier, when we were in the kitchen, working on her famous jello-salad and hummingbird pineapple cake - we don't have the biggest kitchen, mind you... our house is only a two bedroom, one living room, one dining room, one small kitchen, one small laundry room, and an upstairs attic that is only about five feet in heighth - all in all. A very small place. So if you can imagine the small size of the kitchen, with not one, but _two_ cooks in the kitchen, then you might be able to catch my drift about how we somehow managed to make things work. But then again - we're a great, great team together, me and my Mama. She is the best Mother in the entire, entire world, and I can depend on her for any_thing... she's that awesome.
She's extremely understanding, as well. She understands why I sometimes smoke marijuana. She knows the things that go on in my dating life, simply because I share a LOT with her. She understands how sometimes, I want to go out until 4am, partying it up and HARD, with some of my neighborhood peoples. Stuff like that. Totally the best Mama ever, ever ever ever ever.
Other than that, we're planning on going out of town for about 12 hours, tomorrow... going out to thew family farm, exactly (to the _T_) 100 miles east of my house, halfway between Memphis and Nashville, TN. We have about forty acres, total, out there, and have a huge pine tree plantation - whose saplings were planted in early 1996, when I was a senior in high school, AND going through a really, really tough breakup... yeah - I go through tough breakups. I guess I give too much of my heart, to the woman in my life. Can't do that, anymore. Might be why the latest chick (that I've known since 1992...) pulled away so quickly. I don't know. I have my issues, like in the sleep department, health department, stuff like that. Hell, I have an incurable disease of the brain. But you don't see me giving a damn about that. I mean, I take my meds like I'm supposed to, eat like I'm supposed to (I only eat once per day, and that's ONLY after taking my night time Seroquel - the only thing that both gives me an appetite - AND helps me to sleep...) - I catch the sleep that I'm supposed to, sometimes only four hours, sometimes 18 - depends on how I feel or how tired I am. If it wasn't for taking Seroquel that my psychiatrist prescribes me? - I would be awake, straight - for a month at a time, maybe longer.
Going without sleep for that long? - will make you crazy. I've been there, before they discovered that all of the brain damage from multiple sclerosis caused me to become bi-polar. Bipolar class 2, to be exact - which means - I won't sleep - at ALL - without a huge dose of the Seroquel. Just wouldn't do it. Wouldn't eat, either, as that is the ONLY thing that gives me an appetite for the day, just before I go to bed.
Yeah - I'm weird. But then again - I've been through a HELL of alot, since I was 21. My Pops coming down with Alzheimers, me becoming a heroin addict from 2004-2005, THEN going blind in July 2007, after being off of heroin for two years... THEN loing my father to the damn alzheimers, in 2009... you go through that much? - you won't sleep well, either. So - don't judge. It can happen to you. Yup.
Okay - so it's Christmas Eve, I've just helped my Mama fix our desserts for our trip out of town, and I'm going to go visit the neighbors across the street, for a while.
Happy Holidays to everyone out there on the planet (AND IN THE COSMOS!!!)
-drew =P
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Monday, December 22, 2014
My tunes - wanna hear??? ;)
These are some of the tunes I've posted to my facebook page, as well as to my youtube... I'm trying my best to get my tunes _OUT_THERE_(!!!) - sooooo - feel free to "share" my tunes with whomever you want - I'm not after money for my songs - just some exposure's allllls I'm askin'... enjoy! -drew
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBFmvh9VN2c
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3t0vJLqBYg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwTEwX4gzdI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_l1wY2WVa8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1GVDz3AaI4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_0SqzDwsw0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3t0vJLqBYg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwTEwX4gzdI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_l1wY2WVa8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1GVDz3AaI4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_0SqzDwsw0
Monday, December 15, 2014
For_REAL(!!!) - new toys & a new girlfriend... ;)
It's pretty much going smoothly for me, especially in the last few weeks or so... I've recently began dating someone quite new - someone that I've known since we were freshmen in high school, soooo I mean - yeah - I know this chick, pretttttyyy_wellllll...
Which is good, because there aren't any surprises. I know I'm not the best boyfriend in the world or anything, and I know that I've become kind of jaded - when it comes to women & dating them - especially since my failed relationship I had, back at the beginning of the spring through early summer, with my ex. That? That was pretty doggone tough. Tough to go through. I never thought I would be able to open up to someone ever again - but I was wrong... even though I've _still_ been somewhat of a recluse, since I began dating this new chick. I haven't called her everyday or anything, more like every couple of days. But I just don't want to appear desperate for attention. Don't want that.
I also share a lot in common with my new squeeze... we're both musicians - she plays the fiddle - someday I will learn fiddle - we both love moonshine - she makes it, I drink it - and we both like the same type of music. Not that I didn't like the music that my ex liked, because I pretty much did, but - this is different. We're both huge, HUGE Led Zeppelin fans. We both support the legalization of marijuana - recreational or medical - either one, don't matter. We both like to go to music hangouts, drink beer until 4am, and hang with the best of them. She's a lot, LOT different than my ex. About 11 years younger, too. Oh, forgot to add - she wears a double-zero waist size - haven't ever dated a woman that skinny, at only 105 pounds - just never have... ;)
Oh yeah, forgot to add about my new "toy", my Randy Jackson series guitar. It's a pretty sweet toy... I just this morning got a new 9-volt battery to put in the thing, to which it will let me record, loop, playback, etc. I got it to help me to become more of a "one man band", since I have pretty much been playing solo for quite some time, now. Not that I care, because I don't - but now I'll have the tools to succeed, even if only succeeding by just the teeniest, tiniest bit - I'll succeed...
I'm still exploring the different capabilities, effects, and specifications of the guitar itself - it has a lot in store for me, and I'm glad that Santa was able to get me an early Christmas present.
Very nice. Quite...
Other than that? - that's pretty much it. Nothing new other than a new girlfriend and guitar. That's pretty much it.
Glad I don't have to go out in the night, rolling solo & single all the way through. Nice to have a beautiful woman on my arm. We went out the other night until about 4am - the bar we went to was a local one, about a little over two miles from my house. One of the waitresses behind the bar kept looking at me, while my squeeze and I were up there, enjoying our beer & whiskey & whatnot - I think she was in her mid-twenties, couldn't have been over 26 or 27. Anyway, she was hella cute - but as whenever I'm with a gal, out in public - I won't be rude and look at other women. I refuse to be that impolite. Absolutely refuse it.
So, enjoy your looks, gals - that's all I'm giving you... =P
-ajb
Which is good, because there aren't any surprises. I know I'm not the best boyfriend in the world or anything, and I know that I've become kind of jaded - when it comes to women & dating them - especially since my failed relationship I had, back at the beginning of the spring through early summer, with my ex. That? That was pretty doggone tough. Tough to go through. I never thought I would be able to open up to someone ever again - but I was wrong... even though I've _still_ been somewhat of a recluse, since I began dating this new chick. I haven't called her everyday or anything, more like every couple of days. But I just don't want to appear desperate for attention. Don't want that.
I also share a lot in common with my new squeeze... we're both musicians - she plays the fiddle - someday I will learn fiddle - we both love moonshine - she makes it, I drink it - and we both like the same type of music. Not that I didn't like the music that my ex liked, because I pretty much did, but - this is different. We're both huge, HUGE Led Zeppelin fans. We both support the legalization of marijuana - recreational or medical - either one, don't matter. We both like to go to music hangouts, drink beer until 4am, and hang with the best of them. She's a lot, LOT different than my ex. About 11 years younger, too. Oh, forgot to add - she wears a double-zero waist size - haven't ever dated a woman that skinny, at only 105 pounds - just never have... ;)
Oh yeah, forgot to add about my new "toy", my Randy Jackson series guitar. It's a pretty sweet toy... I just this morning got a new 9-volt battery to put in the thing, to which it will let me record, loop, playback, etc. I got it to help me to become more of a "one man band", since I have pretty much been playing solo for quite some time, now. Not that I care, because I don't - but now I'll have the tools to succeed, even if only succeeding by just the teeniest, tiniest bit - I'll succeed...
I'm still exploring the different capabilities, effects, and specifications of the guitar itself - it has a lot in store for me, and I'm glad that Santa was able to get me an early Christmas present.
Very nice. Quite...
Other than that? - that's pretty much it. Nothing new other than a new girlfriend and guitar. That's pretty much it.
Glad I don't have to go out in the night, rolling solo & single all the way through. Nice to have a beautiful woman on my arm. We went out the other night until about 4am - the bar we went to was a local one, about a little over two miles from my house. One of the waitresses behind the bar kept looking at me, while my squeeze and I were up there, enjoying our beer & whiskey & whatnot - I think she was in her mid-twenties, couldn't have been over 26 or 27. Anyway, she was hella cute - but as whenever I'm with a gal, out in public - I won't be rude and look at other women. I refuse to be that impolite. Absolutely refuse it.
So, enjoy your looks, gals - that's all I'm giving you... =P
-ajb
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