Infusion/185...

Just got home from my first steroid infusion of MethylPrednisolone - it's an hour long infusion of 1000mg (1gm) of Solumedrol - the Solumedrol is crucial with MS patients, like myself, as the steroids calm down any inflammation that might be going on in my nervous system (brain & spinal cord)... the inflammation is what causes brain damage, as my white blood cells are penetrating my nervous system (only red blood cells are supposed to be in the brain -  NOT white blood cells...) and as the white blood cells begin their attack on my nervous system, which in the past, has caused everything from an almost a year of blindness, to my right knee not being able to bend (as well as the right leg going completely numb on me...), to my right hand not wanting to work, etc etc etc...

Most all of the symptoms from the MS have been on the right side of my body - never the left; this is because the left side of my brain and spinal column are under some attack from the WBC's (white blood cells), which in turn, causes the right side of my body to experience the damned symptoms.  I have been waiting, and waiting - AND WAITING - for this crucial infusion for at least almost two weeks - maybe longer - as I woke up the morning of the fifth of this month, without being able to use my right hand. 

As a musician - mainly a lead & rhythm guitarist, along with mandolin and keys/piano, and a lyricist/singer - well I have to have my right hand working correctly when I am playing, as that is the hand that I pick, strum and manipulate those sweet strings with... and with me not being able to hold onto a pick, and continuously dropping it - over, and over, and over and over again - well it's just very frustrating.

I also have not been able to type my usual 100 words-per-minute that I normally am able to do.  That is also _very_ frustrating, in itself.  I was planning on going to a coffee shop here in midtown Memphis this evening, for their open-mic event, held every Thursday night starting around 8pm and lasting until 10pm, when they close - a tiny little place called Java Cabana.  Playing a Java is o_k_a_y, but the only things I don't like about playing there is 1) you have to play _all_ original music - NO covers - which sucks, because I grew up learning guitar by trying to mimic bands like Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, ZZ Top, James Taylor, Jimi Hendrix and others - they were all the absolute _best_ guitar instructors that you would only have to pay for once: by getting their albums on tape or CD, or however I could get their music - I got it, learned it, and can still play most everything those bands and artists have ever, ever done...  being a self-taught guitarist, since age 12 (I will be 36 come September...), I have learned much in my travels with my strings. 

I bought a simple mandolin, about six months ago, and have also been teaching myself _that_ particular instrument, as well... I know most all of my chords, and the neat thing about mandolin is that the chord patterns are basically upside-down, compared to a guitar... on guitar, the beginning notes of the strings are E, A, D, G, B and E... on mandolin, the beginning notes of _those_ strings are G, D, A and E - and is also the same layout as violin... I haven't tackled violin, not just yet - but it is the next instrument on my list that I will learn how to play.  Though I am not as good or fluent on the mandolin as I am on say, any one of my guitars - I am still able to quickly switch back & forth from my chords, as well as playing some individual notes on the thing.  To say so myself - I am definitely NOT bad on the thing... not bad at all.

I have been losing a lot of weight recently, as well, as my appetite has been really, really crappy.  The only time I ever get hungry enough to eat is after I take my Seroquel at night - the Seroquel enables me to at least get four to five hours of sleep a night.  Though, I did NOT sleep well last night - at ALL... I was weighed at the infusion clinic, and I weighed 185.  For someone who is 6'2" - I should at the _least_ weigh 200 pounds - but - I don't really care about that.  As long as I can stay at least at 185, I am not ever concerned about my weight.  At all...

Before I started to get sick with the MS, and was finally diagnosed (4 July, 2007...) I weighed 255 pounds, wore a 38 inch waist, and had a definite complex about my weight and my appearance.  I now wear a 33 inch waist, am slender and not self-conscious about my appearance, to which I have zero problems with taking my shirt off for, say, going swimming or going to the beach, etc.  It's actually nice wearing clothing sizes that I wore back in 8th grade - I picked up guitar in the 7th grade, played football, basketball and baseball, and was an avid athlete, as well as being a damn good one, at that. 

Basketball was always my best sport, until I got into high school.  That's when I started playing varsity football (9th grade), and fell absolutely, head-over-heels in _LOVE_ with the game.  I played defensive end on the defensive line, as well as some linebacker - on defense, and played pulling guard on the offensive line.  I ran a 40-yard-dash in 4.8 seconds, which wasn't bad at all for someone who weighed 220 to 240 pounds.  I was one of the faster players on the team, and instead of running with the linemen at the end of practice - which was when we did our running & sprinting - I instead ran with the running backs, quarterbacks, and the offensive receivers (who mostly all ran at least a 4.7 in the 40)... I was dunking a basketball on a 10-foot-goal my sophomore year of high school, and though I wouldn't even attempt doing that, now, because of my balance issues, well, I was just a doggone good athlete.

My mother - not my father - taught me the game of basketball when I was in the third grade, which was when I started playing.  Mom played forward/center when she was in high school, and was a doggone good basketballer, herself.  My Pops was an avid, religious baseball fanatic, and even though he always criticized my basketball game (he played some basketball, himself...), he never did criticize me in football - as he knew very little of the game, didn't grow up playing it or anything, and was kind of a beginner-level football fan... I never minded him coming to my football games - just my basketball and baseball games.  Football?  I was the first in my family to ever, ever play that sport.

My sports days are history, now, and though I do miss getting out and shooting a basketball, it's not something that I have to do anymore... I have plenty, plenty plenty memories of my days on the basketball court, baseball field, and football field.

My 8th grade year, our junior high basketball team was _extremely_ talented, and I played forward/guard, and played the high post at the free throw line.  I was 6 feet tall my 8th grade year, and had a 6'4" center to dish the ball to down low, in a humongous feller named Dean Harris.  Dean is about 6'6", now, and played college football for Auburn.  We also had an excellent point guard by the name of Chris Brumley, who was also our quarterback on the football team - excellent, excellent athlete.  My shooting guard, at the 2-guard position, was Jeremiah Cowan.  Cowan was an excellent 3-point shooter, and could shoot the living daylights out of the ball.  At our 3-guard position was a good friend of mine by the name of Tony Toms.  Tony was about 6'4" at the time, and was an absolutely fabulous basketballer.  Fabulous.  He went on to play college basketball at Friends University in Kansas. 

We went on to be 19-2 that year, and our only losses were against teams that played 9th graders - we only played up to 8th graders - but we went on to beat those teams the second time around.

Anyway, me and my 6'2", 185 pound frame?  I _would_ say that I am in the best shape of my entire life - but I would be completely lying.  I'm not - but that?  Is O_K_A_Y... completely. 

I have two more days of IV Solumedrol in tomorrow and Saturday... I go in at 1:30 tomorrow for my second infusion, and then go back in at 3pm on Saturday for my last steroid infusion.  I am expecting to be able to feel and use my right hand again... soon.  I need my right hand.  Without my hands?  I am completely nothing, and am as useless as bringing a knife to a gunfight. 

Oh - and I am also getting over my recent breakup, as well.  Everyday gets a little bit easier, and easier, and easier.  It's getting easier to deal with the loss of my beautiful cougar, in a woman named Kathleen.  She's so pretty, and, well - I just hope I can continue getting over her, and that the pain from this breakup will eventually go away.  I don't know if I am going to try to date anybody anytime soon, as I am still coping.  They say that the best way to get over someone is to get underneath someone else, but - I don't agree.  I _DO_ however, think that me getting back out there and at least dating a few people - not seriously, have you, but - just getting back _out_ there - that will make things easier on me.  But then again - I am very choosy about the women that I date, and have never been into easy women, barflies, or hookers.  I like classy dames.  That's all.  Classy women completely turn me on =)

Cheeeeeeeeeers(!!!) ya'll!!!  Pray that my hand gets sensation back - and SOON!!!  Thank you... everyone have a wonderful Thursday, okay?  Okay...

Peace Out.
-drew ;)